The Necessity Of Hugging
I am, and always was, a hugger. Looking back at my family, I can understand why. I was raised in a family of six children, of which I was the youngest. My oldest brother was 21 years old when I was born. My mother was 45. I am pretty sure I was an accident, but hopefully a good one.
Three kids were boys and three girls. Unfortunately, my oldest brother was becoming a priest when I was born. My next brother was one of the first to be drafted in the Second World War. He was overseas for five years, including the beach at the Normandy invasion. He died years ago, and I have always been sorry that I never appreciated what he must have gone through during the war. He would never discuss it.
My father died of a heart attack when I was 12, leaving my mother and three sisters to raise me.
I guess we were poor, but I never realized it. I never lacked any necessity. After I was grown, I was told the house I grew up in was purchased for $1200. This was in Gloucester, New Jersey, so I guess I can safely say that my family was poor.
Although we lacked money, we had a plethora of love, which I have come to realize is great wealth.
So my teenage years were spent essentially without a male role model. Two of my sisters never married, and the third got divorced from her husband. Consequently, I was essentially raised by four women.
Since everyone in my family was huggers I could barely get out of the house without running a gauntlet of hugs. Looking back, this is the reason I am a hugger. Although I frequently complained about the gauntlet, one can never have too much love.
The world conspired, through my sister's generosity, as they were my sole support, to send me to college and then on to medical school.
Then, when I went into private practice in Phoenix Arizona, I was fortunate enough to get hired by another OB/GYN physician who was very compassionate. Every patient that he delivered or operated on was sent a rose while they were in the hospital. When I asked him why he did this, he told me it was because many of the patients had never received a flower.
Consequently, I developed the same practice. Although I was just beginning to practice and did not make much money, I did not have to send too many roses. However, after about a year this practice became expensive.
Almost out of necessity, I figured out it would be cheaper to hug patients when they left my office; I immediately initiated that practice.
This went well for many years until one day I received an irate phone call from a patient’s husband. He was very upset that I hugged his wife and complained. This was on a Friday. I thought it over on the weekend and decided that I had better stop the hugging.
The very first patient on Monday was someone who had been in my practice for several years. She was there for her yearly physical exam. As she was ready to leave, I noticed she was upset. Not sure why, I asked her if I had done anything wrong. Her response was, ”You didn’t give me my hug.” Word for word!
So I decided the universe was telling me to continue this practice, which I have done for my many years treating patients. If I don’t have the world record for giving the most hugs in a lifetime, I am probably close.
Like getting a rose for a patient, many people have no one to hug them and long for human contact. I experienced this recently when my grandson moved to Montana for a new job after graduating college. When I asked him how he was doing, he said he missed touching someone, since he did not know anyone in the area.
I have always hugged my 4 grandkids.
From all the above I have learned that many people need to be hugged and that it is necessary. If you are uncomfortable hugging someone and see someone without a smile, give them one of yours. They are free. And for many people, necessary.
LOVE ALL, SERVE ALL
